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Pre-Marine Evaluation
Summary: Urf checks out a new marine candidate.
Cast: Urfkgar Neven
Air Date: 2006.05.17

Dead Fish Tavern <Greenville, New Luna>

A large, wood-floored establishment with dim lights, and faded leather-and-wood booths lining the gray brick walls, it features real candle-lit chandeliers made from old ship's tills, and new-looking square tables lining the edge of the room. In the center, a large, lit dance floor takes up about a quarter of the floor space, and is well-worn from use. A holographic karaoke machine, a raised band platform, and a small DJ's booth make sure that the building is filled with music at all hours of the day. A polished wooden bar sits at the far end, with a thirty foot long stuffed Washingtonfish mounted on the bar's back mirror. It has been named Herbert, and is dressed in a new hat daily by the barstaff. A sturdy wooden door leads outside to Birthright Parkway.


The Zangali ducks through the entrance and ambles up to the bar.

Neven sits at the bar, a drink in front of him and a vacant expression on his face.

Urfkgar thumps a fist down on the bar and says loudly, "Urf want juice. No stupid no gooderer juice. Urf want gooderer juice."

Neven is jolted back to the present as the Zangali enters; he looks over Urfkgar carefully, before a look of recognition dawns on his face. He waves to Urf, "You're that person from the advertisement for the New Luna militia, Urf."

The one eyed lizard's head swivels around in Neven's direction while he fumbles about in his pockets. He ends up pulling out a few straws and a handful of rayden. He sets them on the counter as he glowers at the Lunite. He says, "Zangali."

Neven draws back slightly as the Zangali frowns at him. "Ahh, yes, you are a Zangali then? I'm Neven, I'm looking to join the New Luna military."

"Want do marine stuff? Urf do marine stuff. Stupid softskin no want do marine stuff. Urf no care," says Urfkgar as his drink arrives in a large, disposable cup. The bartender takes the rayden off the counter before leaving.

Neven draws himself up, his face hardens as he nods slowly, "Yes I want to do Marine stuff."

"Stupid softskin know marine stuff?" asks the Zangali, scratching at his shoulder. "Stupid softskin doeded no now?"

Neven nods, rising to his feet. "I was in the Lunite Militia, went through marine training and made marksman, though I didn’t see any actual combat."

Urfkgar grunts and nods a few times, picking the straws up off the counter and jamming them through the lid of his cup. He says, "Gooderer. Urf train stupid softskin. Stupid stuff no kill stupid softskin morerer fasterer."

Neven blinks a few times, he cocks his head, attempting to follow Urf's words. He seems to come to a conclusion and nods. "Um, good... I guess. Where do I sign up?"

Urfkgar pulls a magic marker and a few pieces of paper out of his pocket. He sorts through the paper until he finds a few wrinkled forms that have been stapled together. He passes the packet to Neven. The forms have the standard name, age, height, weight, education level, criminal background, etc.

Neven grabs the paper and marker dropping into an unoccupied booth he starts filling in the requisite fields. Once he finishes he gathers up the papers and moves back over to Urf, giving him the papers and the marker back.

The Zangali holds the packet up to his eye, briefly flipping through the pages. He shoves the marker in his pocket. He says, "Gooderer."

Neven nods, sliding back into his previous stool. "So.. what do I do now?" He asks.

"Urf no care. Stupid remph softskins do stuff thingy," says the lizard, shaking the packet of forms. "Stupid softskin want do marine stuff now. Urf no care. Morerer gooderer."

Neven shrugs, "Uh, yeah sure, I suppose, you can never start training too early, is there somewhere I'm supposed to report or... something."

"Stupid remph softskins do stuff. Stupid softskin marine," says the Zangali as he lumbers away from the bar, heading towards the exit.

Neven opens his mouth to speak, but closes it when Urf moves away from the bar. He quickly tosses a few Rayden to the bartender before turning to follow the Zangali.


'Birthright Parkway <Greenville, New Luna>

A straight, sloped road, Birthright Parkway is designed to transition from the low-lying areas of the Harbor and landing pad to the main city atop Independence Hill. Buildings line the parkway with faded wood facades and brass trim, almost too cute and consistent to be accidental. At the bottom of the hill is the cheery Decon building, while at the top of the hill, the Parkway T-bones into Plaindid Street. At about the middle of the Parkway, a street snakes off to the east towards a more residential neighborhood.


Urfkgar stuffs the paperwork in a random pocket as he ambles down the hill, grumbling. He grinds to a halt once he reaches the decon building and turns back to face up the hill.

Neven jogs after Urfkgar, "So, uh, where are we going again Mr... Urf." He says, coming to a halt next to the Zangali. He follows Urf's gaze to the hill, trying to find what he's looking at.

"Urf need know stuff stupid softskin do. No do," explains the lizard. "Urf do stuff. Stupid softskin do stuff Urf do."

Neven nods along, he seems to be getting better at interpreting Urfkgar's dialect. "Ah yes, alright then Sir. Lead on."

Urfkgar moves over to stand in the center of the pedestrian walkway leading up the hill. He pops a squat and begins to duck walk along with his butt low to the ground and his knees around his snout. He holds his arms out in front of him for balance.

Neven follows Urfkgar, and after a minute of figuring out what the hell he's doing Neven imitates the position, as he contorts himself a few snaps can be heard, "Haven’t done this in a while..." He huffs, coming into position behind Urf.

Soon enough, the Zangali changes things up once more as he continues to advance up the hill. He interlocks his fingers and sets them on his head. He changes what he's doing with his legs, kneeling and standing and repeating with the other leg. He's doing lunges, in other words.

Neven is getting better at the physical exertion as he goes along. His eyes are straight, his breathing regular. Once he sees Urf changing the exercise he breathes heavily. Getting into a standard jog for a second before he repeats the Zangali's lunging stride.

The lunges don't end as much as evolve into a more painful exercise. Instead of merely standing, the Zangali actually leaps off the ground each time he raises himself from a knee.

Neven starts breathing heavily during the lunges, when Urf starts the new exercise he sighs and imitates it, landing on the pavement with a definite thud after each one. His face starts getting progressively more flushed as the exercise goes on.

Urfkgar doesn't seem too bothered as he continues his progress up the hill, changing the exercise again. He stands up straight and jumps up into the air, bringing his feet up to kick himself in the butt before he lands again. He continues to hop up the hill.

Neven seems to be catching a second wind as the exercise changes yet again. He regains control of his breathing and acquires a good rhythm and pace, falling back in behind Urf.

Urfkgar stands so his right side faces Plaindid Street at the crest of the hill and holds his hands out in front of him while thrusting his butt out behind him. He flexes his knees a bit with his feet spread about a shoulder and a half's width apart. He proceeds to scuttle sideway uphill without crossing his feet over each other, glancing at Neven every so often.

Neven angles into the sideways walk, he squats, putting his arms out in front of him for balance as he follows the Zangali.

Urfkgar hops around in a 180 and scuttles to his left up the hill.

Neven manages the 180 degree hop, his squat becomes a bit deeper as he lands, but he quickly corrects and resumes the sideways scuttle.

Urfkgar squares off with the hilltop once more. He flops forward, catching himself with his hands. He does a pushup that's deep enough that his chest smacks off the ground. Then, he locks out his elbows on the up portion. Then, he walks forward on his hands with his feet dragging behind him. He advances a complete paving square before he does another pushup. And so on, and so on, etc, etc.

Neven takes a minute to observe Urfkgar and get the moves down before starting out himself. He smacks down on the pavement the first time, earning himself a couple scrapes before he gets the exercise down.

The top of the hill is almost within reach when the Zangali suddenly stands and sprints off in the wrong direction, going down towards the decon corridor.

Neven sighs with relief as the hill top grows closer, until Urf turns to sprint back down that is. With a groan he pushes himself up and follows Urf down at a sprint.

Urfkgar turns right around at the bottom of the hill and hoofs it back in the direction of the top.

Neven rounds a corner at the bottom, running back after Urf. His breathing starts to get heavy again at the continued sprint.

After the Zangali gets to the top, he runs about half way down before he slows to a stop. He looks around to get his eye on Neven.

Neven slows down and comes to a stop near the Zangali. He takes a few deep breaths and shakes out his arms. "Well... that was... interesting."

Urfkgar grunts and says, "Urf train stupid softskin morerer. Stupid softskin marine. Do morerer stuff."

Neven stretches out a little before answering. "I can handle it." He says confidently.

"Stupid softskin no know. Stupid softskin no say," grunts the lizard vaguely before he lumbers up the hill, pulling out the packet of paper work.

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